I am not a Vegetarian.

I am not a vegetarian. But I have been made aware from sources that cattle are plotting a rebellion. The genetics of this animal have been made "malleable" by the constant scientific retoolings of this animals DNA structure. In the future, cows will grow to 200 times their current size. They will pluck skyscrapers and church steeples from the ground and affix them to their blunted cow teeth as makeshift fangs, so much better to bite us with. Nature abhors a vacuum, the only way to balance the rate of beef ingestion is for giant "cows of doom" to start consuming humans in massive quantities. If we play our cards right this could be the single greatest event in the history of the beef industry.


above: An artist's representation of the catastrophe.